The Dude hates The Eagles, so does The Mayor!

Record Company Weasels could record The Eagles on a billion bit system, and i'd still fucking hate them!

Joe Walsh himself could buy me seventeen free Angus burgers, and i'd still fucking hate The Eagles man!

Those old dingbats are down at the Air Canada Centre, stinking it up royally. Are there no rules in Canada? We want to kick the conscience objectors to the US occupation of Iraq out of this country, but welcome The Eagles as if they were Stanley Cup Champions? There's more justice in most Banana Republics!

Between these bloated bastards and The Beach Boys, all i can do is dream of the pond freezing over and strapping on a pair of CCM Tacks! All i need is the pond too, not Hell.

Do you think Wayne Gretzky listens to that shit? Do you think Betzky gives a flying fuck about SoCal pop?

Mojo Nixon should be Knighted for having the balls to tell the truth, the truth being "Don Henley Must Die"!The only Henley i care about is The Henley Regatta!

On the other hand, The Great State of Michigan IS taking our garbage, so i guess turnabout is fair play.